Swinging is a difficult concept to grasp for some people. They usually don’t understand how people get together in swinging groups or how swingers dating works. That is because conventional thinking has made them incapable of understanding that it isn’t about the sex, but about the closeness and relations between people that bring swingers together. Lets see What Mistakes Should You Avoid Making When Looking for Swinging Groups?
How to Find Swinging Groups?
Swinging is an alternative lifestyle that many people think resumes to only having sexual relations with multiple partners. Although the sex part is a big component of the lifestyle, it certainly isn’t the only one, neither the most important, as members of the swinger community will say. The idea of swinging can’t be reduced to just sleeping with random people. Swinging implies creating bonds between individuals and bringing together people that share common interests. Of course, sex is always an option for the members of any group, but for most that isn’t why they meet up. Many of them meet up because they enjoy the talks they have and the closeness they share with others. But this type of relation can only be created when the right group is found.
Evidently, you can’t know what kind of people are in a group before you are in that group. That is why choosing the right swinging groups is important. Firstly, a person or a couple can be part of more than one group. There are no rules against that as long as they feel comfortable. Secondly, choosing the right groups means that some serious research is needed. Anybody looking for swinger groups have to understand that there are different kinds of groups for different people. For instance, there are those groups that are created exclusively for sexual relations. Their members meet only in order to have sex with each other and interact in a sexual manner. Then those groups can be subcategorized depending on the type of sexual relations the members enjoy. They can be more on the vanilla side of the specter or they can be for the people that enjoy a certain fetish or kink. Anyway, the point is that even if you are looking for a group only for sex, you can have your pick at the lot.
Another way of looking for groups for swingers is by distance. It may sound cliché, but most people start their research closer to home. And, although that kind of limits their options, it does make them feel safer in a way, knowing that they have a kind of home court advantage. Also, another benefit of looking close to home for the right group is that you may discover people you already know that are into swinging. This can help any newbie get over any anxiety he might have. Plus, you can learn a lot about people you thought you knew. Not to mention that this way you can get a pretty good baseline for further research into other groups. You might be amazed to find out how many people actually practice this lifestyle and how easy it can be for you to find things you have in common with people from the group.
What Mistakes Should Be Avoided When Looking for Swinging Groups?
Swingers are discreet people, as most people are when it comes to their intimate preferences. This is a big rule that you should always follow when meeting them outside the groups. Don’t talk about what goes on during the parties and meetings of the groups. It isn’t anything sordid or off limits, but it’s just common courtesy to not talk about your personal life, or worse, others personal life in pubic, without their express consent. Swinging still has a bad enough reputation in the eyes of much of the general public without them having to know details about who enjoys what kind of sex game. Although it has been gaining more and more traction with the mainstream culture since the ‘70s, swinging groups are still regarded by a lot of people as a form of sexual deviance or even worse. This is why they do not need any more bad-press than they already have.
Another mistake one should avoid making when going to various parties and meetings is to go against the established rules. Imagine that you have company over at your place and, although you have specifically asked them not to put any glasses on your mahogany furniture without using coasters, some guests intentionally pour their drink over your Chesterfield and put the sweaty glass on the family picture mantle. Imagine how does that make you feel. Now try and apply that to your host. If the party rules are stated from the beginning and you don’t find them agreeable, you can leave, rather than questioning them or even worse, not abiding by them. Although a lot of people consider swinging as a lawless orgy, the people that host swinger parties actually do have a lot of rules for their guests. That is not because they want to make them feel unwelcomed, but in order to make everyone feel safe.
Why Do Swingers Dating Get a Bad Reputation?
Swingers dating is surely something that not everyone is accustomed to hearing very often. It may even strike a lot of people, even from the community as something bizarre. But the fact is that swingers can date, and a getting to understand how that works may take people a bit more time. This is because when people talk about swingers and dating they usually can’t imagine how it all works. The fact of the matter is that this is just like any other kind of dating, only that it includes two couples, rather than two people. And, although this might just sound like cheating with extra steps for some, the people doing it are perfectly comfortable with their arrangement.
Swingers dating isn’t a new concept. In order to better understand it imagine that you are in a relationship with someone. Now imagine that you have close couple friends, who are also in a relationship with each other. The four of you start going on double dates and even vacation together frequently. You are always at one of your places and even have parties together which turn into sleepovers. Now imagine you are doing this with a couple, but on a daily basis. This is what swingers dating is all about. Four people, enjoying the company of one another, and choosing to share intimate moments between them.
This kind of arrangement gets a bad reputation because not everybody is capable of accepting that four people can share the same intimacy as two. But taking away the part about the bedroom makes it easier for people to accept this idea. Many swinger couples that are dating don’t even share a bedroom. They tend to keep the relation at a flirt level and to share other kind of bonds.