When you search for a do-it-yourself divorce kit you usually start analyzing what you have done wrong and what could be done better. This may lead you to research results that prove that couples who went through help of premarital counseling tend to file a divorce 30% less frequently than usual.
What is so special in help of premarital counseling that makes marriages more successful? This is just qualitative communication. You spend hours discussing your future perspectives and possible hurdles so that when it happens in real-time you are ready to go over it together and it makes your relationships stronger but not ruin them.
Apart from knowing the benefits, you should get prepared for marital counseling. Firstly, because it may be a challenging experience for both of you and secondly to get the expected results you should put in some decent efforts. But overall it is worth it and with the help of premarital counseling, your marriage will be firm and relationships – reliable.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling is a special type of therapy that helps couples to build up a foundation for strong relationships and steady marriage. It can help you understand each other better, distinguish the problems at the early stage and solve them to strengthen but not ruin the relationships. Overall, one can single out the following benefits of premarital counseling which may prevent you from searching for divorce court forms after years of a happy marriage:
- Learn to communicate – through the therapy you will either learn or secure principles of respectful communication. You will learn to talk, listen, understand and support your partner. This will decrease the number of little quarrels about nonsense in the future.
- Learn problem-solving strategies – you will also learn how to single out the problem at its early stage, talk about it and find the right solution, comfortable for everyone in the family. This will help you to avoid silent problems which gradually grow into disasters and ruin the marriage.
- Stay logical – premarital counseling is also useful to teach you to handle your emotions and operate facts and brains rather than go to extremes.
- Open and discuss fears – well-qualified counselor will help you to open and discuss your fears about the upcoming marriage. So, that you can talk about precautions and rules to guarantee a safe and steady partnership.
How to Get the Most Out of It
Premarital counseling is not a magic spell to hold you away from documents needed to file for divorce. It is hard work that requires preparation, qualitative efforts, and cooperation from all the parties. So, you cannot just come to the session and receive a secret of unbreakable marriage, your task is to do your best to prepare for reliable partnership and long-term unity.
- Prepare for ups and downs – realize that you are not going to only complement each other at the sessions. You are to discuss various things, peasant and unpleasant ones, sometimes painful and offensive. But if you go through it in advance and clear everything out it will never be a problem for your future marriage.
- Cooperate – remember that you go to therapy not to battle and win a beneficial position in your marriage. On the contrary, you go here to cooperate, reach an agreement and find a compromise in touchy and difficult issues.
- Support and be thankful premarital counseling is going to lead you through all the inaccuracies and disagreements your couple has. Although it might be challenging, your primary task is to step over yourself and support your partner, show understanding and gratitude for being together, and working on your future happiness. this will make the perfect foundation for long-term firm relationships.
What Question to Prepare for Discussion
You cannot come to premarital counseling with blank thoughts. You need to understand what you expect from the therapy and what questions you are to work out together with your partner and counselor. Thorough preparation will grant you better results in the end.
- Personal principles – discuss personal taboos, beliefs, and principles on relationships in general.
- Finances – dwell on finances sharing, common or separated family budgets, expenses fields, general rules on saving and wasting money.
- Careers – bring up the question of the breadwinner of the family, career plans, housesitting, babysitting.
- Children – make up family-planning arrangements.
- Intimacy – talk about intimacy general rules, preferences, habits, taboos, frequency, any vital details.
- Routine – divide routine duties, discuss routine week plan in general.
- Spiritual issues – have a serious talk about religion, personal beliefs, attitude to spiritual issues.
Help of Premarital counseling is expected to bring positive changes to your relationships, prepare you for the next serious step – marriage, equip you with tools to keep your relationships alive and strong, increase your level of responsibility and qualitative cooperation. If you are interested in results and put in decent efforts, you will get a great platform for a happy marriage.