Ah, the eternal question: “What on earth should I wear tonight?” Whether you’re heading for a boogie with the girls or a hot date with someone who may or may not look like their profile picture, choosing the right outfit can be more stressful than avoiding an ex in a packed club. But fear not, lovely reader. Here’s your sarcasm-laden guide to nailing that night-out ensemble.
Table of Contents
Dress it Up, or Down, or Sideways
- The Little Black Dress (LBD): No closet is complete without this classic. It’s like the pizza of clubbing dresses – always a good idea, suitable for almost any occasion, and pairs well with everything (including regret from too many tequila shots).
- Sequined Number: For those days when you want to shine brighter than your future. Bonus points if it’s so reflective that it doubles as a mirror.
- Velvet Bodycon: Let the world know that not only are you a smooth talker, but you’re also smooth to the touch.
- The Slinky Slip Dress: Perfect for when you can’t decide between bed and the bar. Throw on a leather jacket, and you’re good to go!
Other OOTN (Outfits of The Night) Must-Haves
- Jumpsuits: Because why waste time matching a top to bottoms? Especially when there’s dancing to be done!
- Sassy Skirt & Blouse Combo: Ideal for when you want the freedom to drop it low without the fear of a wardrobe malfunction.
- Trousers & a Chic Top: Let’s be honest, sometimes you just don’t want to shave your legs. Enter: the trouser. Pair with a sequined top to stay fabulous.
Strappy Heels: Perfect for an entrance but a nightmare by the end of the night. Warning: May cause regret.
Wedges: Like the balanced diet of footwear. Offers height without the danger of toppling over.
Boots: For those moments when you anticipate stepping on a few toes on the dance floor, combat boots a tight high boot can be perfect for your dance night.
Brands to Bag
- Dolls Kill: For when you want to look like every influencer ever but still slay.
- ASOS: Thousands of options. You’ll probably end up choosing the first dress you saw, though.
- PrettyLittleThing: For pretty little prices. And for outfits you swear you’ll wear more than once.
- Missguided: Just like your ex, but at least these outfits will treat you right.
- Revolve: A bit pricier, but hey, you can’t put a price on fabulousness… or can you?
Accessorize, Accessor-him, Accessor-her
Clutch Bag: Barely fits anything but hey, at least you’ve got your card and lipstick.
Statement Earrings: So big, they might just have their own gravitational pull.
Bold Necklaces: For when your outfit is feeling a tad too subtle. Or when you want to distract from a potential wardrobe mishap.
Remember These Golden Rules:
Comfort is Key: But sometimes suffering for fashion is a real thing. You decide.
Confidence is Your Best Accessory: It pairs well with everything.
Dancing Will Ruin Your Hair: But hey, messy hair, don’t care!
Go Forth and Conquer (or at Least Dance a Lot)
Whether you’re out to dance like nobody’s watching or watching everyone else dance, dressing the part can make or break your night. Remember, the best outfit is one that makes you feel like the fierce, fabulous diva you are. Now, go forth, strut your stuff, and maybe, just maybe, keep a pair of flats in your car for the journey home.
Cheers to a night of bad decisions and fantastic outfits!